“Where’s my home?” Sloane asked a few months after moving into one of our Friendship Houses. “Is it here, or is it at my parents’ house?” “I don’t know,” I told her. “You’ll have to come up with that answer yourself.” A few weeks later, she started calling Friendship House home and her parents’ home, her parents’ house. What was the tipping point for her? I believe our residents feel like they’re home when they realize they belong. Friendship House is their house. It’s their home. It’s their place.
Our Place Nashville is an amazing community where we try to empower individuals who have a developmental disability (“friends”). We provide them affordable housing, help them find jobs that are meaningful and place them in an inclusive community where they can thrive. As our co-founder and Vanderbilt Divinity School Professor Jaco Hamman stated, “They build friendships across divides that they were never able to cross before.”
“A lot of the time, when we think of people living on their own, we think about independence, individuality, and, like, I can do this on my own. But what Friendship House teaches us is yes, there are parts that you can do on your own but also you need one another,” said Aly, graduate student & Resident Director, Friendship House 1
For me, the litmus test for when the residents – friends, graduate students, and older adults — become more like a family than just housemates is when they believe in each other and encourage one another without fail, when they complain about chores and drive each other crazy, and when they look out for each other and circle the wagons if needed. When they become a family, their house becomes a home.
“My favorite part is just being around everyone, having people to hang out with. We cook a lot. We just goof around a lot.”
Jake, resident friend, Friendship House 4
“I love the people. Every time I come back home, there’s always someone here to greet me, always people to hang out with.”
Yutong, graduate student & Resident Director, Friendship House 3
What are some of the specific things that make our Friendship Houses become a home? It’s when a resident accompanies a housemate to a doctor’s appointment, sharing a favorite recipe and showing the trick to making it failproof, planting a vegetable garden together and then eating those veggies. It’s comforting someone when the other person is sad, being present, attending the funeral of a loved one together. Also celebrating a new job or earning a degree or throwing an annual Super Bowl Party are elements that make these houses homes. When our residents know each other well enough to know which silly story is guaranteed to lift the other’s spirits or knowing how to push each other’s buttons, we know it’s more like family.
“I love the kitchen. I love cooking my own meals. I love having my own space. I can decorate however I want. This is a place of community.
And everybody loves each other here.”
Haileigh, resident friend, Friendship House 3
“I clean. I cook. I make my own decisions. But I have lots of good neighbors. We do dinners. We do events. We do classes.”
Will, resident friend, Friendship House 2
Our residents share heartaches with each other, give each other advice (sometimes solicited, sometimes not) and pray with each other. They help each other study, watch old sitcoms, and play videogames. They play duets on the piano and help run errands for each other. They readily accept each other’s differences. They belong.
“I am so very thankful for each and every person at Friendship House 2. We are the BEST.”
Bryshawn, resident friend, Friendship House 2
“I’m more on my own now [that I’m at Friendship House]. With the disability that I have, my mom, before she passed, she was pretty much doing everything for me. For a while, for a good amount of time, I did not see this happening at all.”
Andrew, resident friend, Friendship House 3
Over the holidays, the wreaths come out and the decorations go up. Residents share traditions from their families and create new memories with their Friendship House community – their other family. One of our moms, Judy, said, “I am so grateful for all you’ve done to create a home away from home for Bo. What a unique blessing it’s been, especially during these uniquely difficult times. Bo loves his place.” Another mom, Lynne, put it this way: “Just talked with Sloane…she squeezed me in for five minutes…and I got a whole earful of happy!” One resident’s aunt said, “When my sister passed away, I wanted to bring my nephew down to Mississippi, but he’d have missed his Nashville friends and family – especially at Friendship House – too much. I couldn’t do that to him.”
At Our Place Nashville they’re home for the holidays and everyday thereafter.
Carolyn Naifeh is the Executive Director of Our Place Nashville, which she co-founded in 2015 as a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization. They currently have four Friendship Houses accommodating 70 people and plan to more than double in size by Spring 2023 by providing affordable housing to an additional 90 people. For more information on their programs or to get added to their residential waiting list, please visit their website at https://www.OurPlaceNashville.org.