The winter holidays, known for its bright lights, pretty decorations, and merriment can bring up various emotions especially for individuals who are either alone or feel isolated. Memories of family gatherings that are no longer possible, or harder to partake in, often bring forth mixed emotions. As we approach another holiday season during a pandemic, for some it can feel weary and exhausting knowing the holidays will most likely look different again this year, and aide in that sense of loneliness. Older adults may be more vulnerable to loneliness especially if family members are no longer living or unable to travel to be with family.
So, what happens if the most wonderful time of the year feels very lonely and painful? It is important to acknowledge and give space to any feelings that come up during the holiday season. Especially during this time of the year when emotions may be more present, it is important to make sure to have a good self-care routine in place.
Here are a couple of tips to help overcome holiday loneliness:
Find joy in the small things.
Holidays can add pressure to feel extra happy or jolly. This can be especially hard for someone who is experiencing loneliness or struggling with their mental health. But this doesn’t mean joy is unobtainable. Take time to enjoy the small things that bring you joy. Things like taking small walks or rides, getting a good cup of coffee, or watching your favorite holiday movie under a cozy blanket, might help to combat some of these feelings. Be intentional to look for the small things that you enjoy and keep a list of all the things to pull out at this time of the year.
Remember that you are not alone even when you feel lonely.
It may be helpful to make a list of all the people in your life with whom you have relationships. If you are not physically able to be together this year, set up phone calls or video calls to connect with others. This can be a great idea to help remind you that you are not alone and truly have people that care deeply for you. Also, reach out to someone you are close to and tell them that you are lonely. You can ask them if they would be willing to reach out and check on you more often, especially during the holidays. Remember it is okay to ask for help and allows others to see how they can walk alongside you.
Find ways to give to others.
When we are able to shift our focus from our pain and find ways to bring joy to others, it can be some of the best medicine. Think of three or four people that you could show some kindness towards during the holiday season. Gift giving doesn’t have to always cost money and it can truly be just giving the gift of time. You could bake some holiday treats for a neighbor, ask a friend to go look at holiday lights together, write letters to friends or family, or serve at a local non-profit in your area. Helping others can help lessen the symptoms of loneliness and help you see the positive impact you have on those around you.
Be kind to yourself.
Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to have all the feelings you have and to acknowledge your feelings even the ones that feel unpleasant. It is also important to show yourself self-compassion. Start by reminding yourself that you are going through a lot right now and it makes sense that you are having these feelings. You should also remember that you do not have to put extra expectations on yourself this time of the year, especially with it feeling more difficult. Find ways to show grace and extra kindness towards yourself.
Put some of things on your calendar that excite you.
Having something on your calendar to look forward to can be such a gift. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or time but can be anything that brings some excitement to you. You could plan to bake cookies, go to the movie theater, go to a local holiday event, or a explore a new hobby. Find some ways to add little events that can give you something to look forward to doing on your calendar.
Bring “home” to wherever you are.
You may not physically be able to go home this holiday season but find ways to bring reminders of home or loved ones to you. Try making a favorite recipe from your childhood or a family tradition, displaying more pictures of loved ones, and take time to remember some of your favorite holidays in the years past.
The holiday season can sometimes not bring all the fuzzy, joyous feelings that we think it should. In fact, sometimes it can feel quite painful for some. However, it is important to remember these feelings of loneliness or any other less than joyous emotions will not last forever and there are some things you can do to help with some of the more unpleasant feelings, turning those blahs into Fa la la la las!
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If we can help you find resources to help navigate the holiday season, please reach out to us. We can hold hope for you when it feels hopeless and help get you connected to the right resources. We wish each of you the happiest of holidays and want you to remember you are not alone, there is always help available to you.
– Your friends, at Tennessee Disability Pathfinder
References:
https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-and-the-holidays-3144645
https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/holiday-lonelines-causes-coping