Jumbo shrimp, silent scream, and good grief are all examples of commonly used oxymorons. Returning to the “new normal” could also be considered an oxymoron yet it is a phrase we’re hearing constantly, especially as we continue to navigate the global pandemic. However, the reality is COVID-19 has been anything but normal as we have had to constantly adapt to ensure our safety and health were protected. Although we might not be fully ready to go back to the community, it is important to think through the details of what it will look like moving forward amid COVID precautions.
Think back to when the pandemic started, it was a complete shock to our systems. Individuals were strongly encouraged to stay home, and businesses closed their doors. Over time, we learned that there were specific measures needed for us to remain safe and stay healthy. We slowly became more aware of ways to survive during the global crisis. Whether an individual was personally affected by COVID-19, we all experienced a sustained collective trauma for over a year whether we realized it or not.
As Jane Leavy, American sportswriter, said, “Trauma fractures comprehension as a pebble shatters a windshield. The wound at the site of impact spreads across the field of vision, obscuring reality and challenging belief.” Sometimes it is difficult to see the impacts of trauma on a community. During the height of the pandemic, an individual’s focus might have likely been safety, making it hard to envision future outcomes; therefore, individuals may not be able to assess the true effects of the pandemic until we have some space away from the height of the crisis. Slowly, as a community heals, is when the ripple effects of trauma usually become visible. It makes sense that as we slowly return to what life looked like before the pandemic, it would be filled with mixed emotions.
Some may be thrilled to gain pieces of “normalcy” again, while others are still very hesitant about going out in public again. It is okay to acknowledge that wherever you are in the process is exactly where you need to be. There is no shame or judgement if you have mixed feelings about things reopening again. In fact, it is more kind to your physical and mental well-being to show compassion to yourself in the realization of how hard COVID-19 has truly affected each of us. You have permission to go at your own pace and acknowledge your feelings.
Adults who are aging were hit especially hard during COVID-19 with an increase in isolation and being more at risk for contracting the virus. It is perfectly normal if an individual feels a sense of grief from the past year’s events. It is okay to take time to acknowledge and name both the global and personal losses that occurred due to COVID-19. If you need support processing all that happened during this time, reach out for support. Tennessee Care through Conversations, which is an opportunity for a volunteer weekly call and check-in on your needs, can be a great starting point to help you feel less alone in this transition phase of COVID-19. Also, Tennessee Department of Mental Health, specifically has a program for adults who are aging and need to receive professional mental health care. They can help identify your needs and connect you with someone that can help you process your emotions related to COVID-19 and more.
As you start to reenter into society and adjust to what life might look like, here are a few tips to help you show compassion and kindness towards yourself:
- Acknowledge your feelings and share with others.
- It is okay if you feel anxious about going out in public or knowing when it is important to wear masks.
- Tell a love one or a friend how you are feeling so they can offer support.
- Reach out if you need support processing your emotions or feelings
- There are licensed professionals that can help you process and work through some of the feelings you are having
- Reaching out for support is a sign of strength not weakness.
- Create a plan and go slowly
- Think through the areas of your life where you really want to reenter
- This can be as simple as going for a walk outside with a mask and checking in with how you are feeling afterwards
- Don’t try to push yourself too fast or too quickly
- If you are feeling very anxious, don’t feel like you have to partake in everything all at once. Give your body and mind time to adjust.
- If you are in public and start to feel overwhelmed, shorten the duration of your time out in public and slowly increase to the amount you want to reach
- Connect with loved ones as you learn what your “new-normal” looks like
- Even if you don’t feel comfortable meeting with loved ones yet be sure to stay in touch with them and let them know how you are truly feeling
- Show compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that it is going to take some time to feel “normal” again
- Find creative ways to exercise or move each day
- Movement and exercise can really boost our moods and help us also develop a daily routine
- Work with your doctor to figure out what environments are safe for you to reenter
- Not every individual has the same health situation as you do, so it is important to work with your doctor to figure out a plan together on how to safely reenter public in a way that aligns with your health issues.
- Talk with them about situations when you should or should not wear a mask anymore
- Reflect on COVID-19 and think about the aspects you want to keep in your life that you liked from the pandemic
- Not everything was all bad about the pandemic, there may be parts that you want to keep in your daily routine. Whether it was online grocery shopping, video-chatting with family, or having a simpler routine, reflect back on the elements you want to keep with you as you move forward.
As we all learn how to adapt to the “new normal,” the greatest gift you can give yourself is compassion. As psychologist and New York Times best-selling author Rick Hanson says, “You can have compassion for yourself-which is not self-pity. You’re simply recognizing that ‘this is tough, this hurts,’ and bringing the same warmhearted wish for suffering to lessen or end that you would bring to any dear friend grappling with the same pain, upset, or challenges as you.” Apply that same compassion towards yourself. It has taken a lot of resilience to get through the pandemic and it is that same kind of resilience that will help you adapt to the changes. Take it one step at a time and remind yourself it is okay, because there is no right or wrong way to identify and react to your reality. We are stronger as a community because of the gifts and talents you bring to the table. Together, as a community, we will come out stronger than we were before the pandemic if we continue to show compassion to those around us. Your story might just be the gift someone else needs to hear to encourage them to keep going.