The holidays look different at each of our Friendship Houses.
Our Place Nashville empowers adults with developmental disabilities by providing homes that are affordable in inclusive communities. We call these homes Friendship Houses. They have names. Divinity Friendship House at Vanderbilt I and Divinity Friendship House at Vanderbilt II are both apartment buildings; FH1 has one building while FH2 has two buildings. The second two houses (FH3 and FH4) are both shared living houses, meaning residents have their own private bedrooms and bathrooms but share common areas (kitchen/dining, living, and laundry). Lester House is one side of our third Friendship House (which is a duplex) and Cook House is the name of the other side. The fourth Friendship House is called Edwards House. It is actually TWO houses: one named in memory of Art and Gail Edwards, the other in honor of their daughters, Jan Edwards and Danae Kasbi.
Our communities – our Friendship House family – vary depending on which name they have: Divinity Friendship House at Vanderbilt I and II, Cook House, Lester House, and the Edwards Houses. The houses have different personalities. Our 70 residents – friends with developmental disabilities, graduate students, and neurotypical adults (younger and older) with physical disabilities – run the gamut. No two are the same, just like no two Friendship Houses are alike.
FH1 is the green house. They recycle because they want to. They grow their own veggies and herbs. It’s the only house with children, sometimes littles, sometimes teens, whose parents are grad students. The students study hard. The friends work hard. The resident director is terrific at organizing fun activities. Making s’mores at the firepit. Playing games. Telling the stories behind a favorite t-shirt or treasured memento.
FH2 is the progressive house. They push boundaries. They are diverse (from India, Myanmar, Nigeria, Peru, and South Korea). They are kind. They also have tempers. Their employers are varied: a printing company, a donut shop, a health information company, a café, and Vanderbilt Dining Services. This house has a lot of drivers; also walkers, bicyclists, and dancers. Residents work hard. But they’re always ready to have fun: Super Bowl parties, movie nights, pizza nights, and game nights.
FH3 is the drama house. Lots and lots of drama. Lots of creative people. One professional comedian. It is the first house to incorporate older adults. There are a lot of cooks at this house. They like to eat. They like to dance. They like to sing. They like to watch old sitcoms. They’ve got some serious gamers. They argue and make up a lot. They encourage one another. Most importantly, they circle the wagons when someone is in trouble.
FH4 is the house of generosity. The residents pitch in and help each other – in times of emergency. in times of grieving, and when someone’s lonely or homesick. Housemates step up with rides, with a hug or shoulder to cry on, with comfort food when someone’s sick. This house likes cookouts and watching Predator games together. This also is the creative house – whether it’s playing instruments, singing, acting, or crafting.
In many ways, our Friendship Houses are not only inclusive communities; they are extended family. Residents drive each other crazy. They speak without thinking sometimes. They can be noisy. They are too messy or too meticulous, depending on your perspective. They can be silly and laugh about nothing in particular. But they are there when you need them.
Holidays exaggerate good and bad. They can be a lonely time if one is separated from friends and family, or if there has been a divorce or death in the family. Our Friendship House residents experience challenges just like yours do. But the holidays also are a time for joy, a time when memories that last a lifetime are created. Being home for the holidays means spending time with loved ones and getting to take a break from our normal routines. Most of our residents will eat Christmas dinner with their parents and other relatives. Many will go to services. One Friendship House resident is using frequent flyer miles to purchase a ticket for a housemate to fly with her to her parent’s home in Florida for Christmas. Last year, the one resident got depressed; this year her housemate is not going to let that happen. Some residents splurged on the Delta Riverboat Christmas Cruise. Others helped each other put up Christmas trees while some made a Gingerbread House together. One resident made personalized gifts for each housemate. Little things, bigger things, huge things.
Members of our Friendship House community bring out both the best and worst in each other. We know how to push each other’s buttons. We also bring comfort and warmth just by being present. We have a family and a place to call our own.
