When Terrell was around 18 years old, I knew that one day he would probably want to move out of our home. Terrell had seen other people his age getting their own places to live, and he began to ask about living on his own. He was cautiously excited about the idea, but it was a little hard for him to picture how everything would work out.
To introduce Terrell to the idea of moving out, I would point out new apartments as they were being built. We would discuss his thoughts on moving and his feelings about one day leaving home. Although he was excited about the prospect of living in his own place, he had some initial reservations. He questioned where his dad, brother and I would be living. I assured him we would be close by and we could see each other whenever we wanted. We had multiple conversations like this, and I knew that for him to maintain a positive attitude towards a future move, there would have to be even more conversations. I also knew that this move would have to come with some in-depth preparation and support. He would need help with cooking, money, time management and other aspects of daily living.
Then it happened, Terrell was placed on the waiting list for Our Place Nashville, and after several months, we received notification that Terrell would be able to move into his new home! This was exciting news for our family, but Terrell was still cautiously optimistic. His biggest concern was the proximity his new home would be to his childhood home. So, to get him prepared, we would ride by the house to get him familiar with the area; and while waiting for the completion of the build, we worked on developing some of the skills that it would take to live independently. We also started buying furniture, home décor, and accessories. The shopping was the most fun.
Finally, the big moving day came! As we moved his furniture and household into his home, the excitement of it all became a little overwhelming for Terrell. He was not ready to spend the night alone. I reassured him that he would be fine and allowed him the time to proceed when he was ready. For a while, he would spend his nights at home with his family. In the interim, Terrell would meet with some of the other residents, which made him feel at ease. Everyone was so kind and would engage Terrell into conversations. Terrell, a soft-spoken young man, will not always initiate a conversation, so, the other residents made efforts to engage him in conversation on topics that interest him. They also held a pizza party to become more acquainted with each other. Luckily, the pizza was ordered from his favorite place, Papa John’s Pizza. The night of the pizza party, Terrell spent the night. He was nervous, but the smile on his face the next day, assured us that he would be alright.
In efforts to support Terrell, Employment Community First (ECF) provides community integration, independent living skills and employment services. These services have helped him understand that he can do interactive and integrated things with others, and provides activities that are fun. Terrell has also recently obtained employment. His day-to-day activities include his working 20 hours a week, Monday through Friday, receiving independent living skills 9 hours per week, and we just received word that he has been paired with someone from the Best Buddies Citizens Program.
Needless to say, we consider this a successful endeavor. We knew that Terrell spending the night away from home would be a challenge, but it is a challenge that he is willing to tackle on his journey to becoming independent.
About the Author
Linda Brown, a native of Tennessee, is the Information and Referral Coordinator for Tennessee Disability Pathfinder. She is also the current board president for The Arc Tennessee, president for The Arc Rutherford County, and parent representative for the Developmental Disabilities Planning and Policy Council. She holds numerous positions with several other organizations within the disability community. She is a devoted wife and proud mother of her two sons.