Maya Angelou, who is an American poet, said “I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me.”
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to advocate for yourself. However, it can be hard to know how to do that especially as you get older. Older adults may feel they are losing their voice instead of finding it. It is important to learn how older adults can still be self-advocates even as their health and lifestyle change.
Here are some tips to help older adults still have an active voice in their care:
Plan Ahead
Plan ahead before health or memory declines which allows an individual to express their desires in advance.
- It is important to talk with family members before health crisis or a decline in memory, so the individual can clearly communicate their plan for the future.
- Create a document that outlines your vision for your healthcare, finances, and housing, and share how you would like family or loved ones to assist you in these various aspects.
- Assign family members different roles so that you have someone who is willing to help you make decisions with each aspect of your life.
- You could assign one family member to help you make healthcare decisions and another family member to help with future housing plans. This allows each family member to be active part of your care and you are able to still express how you would like each area to be handled.
- You can also have family members step into various roles before your health or memory declines so that they can learn about all the components and how you are currently handing each aspect.
- Be clear about what you want before you need it. For example, if you want to stay in your home instead of moving to a nursing home, make sure to communicate that clearly ahead of time.
- Make sure family members have access to the necessary information they need to assist you.
- Many doctors will have you sign a document that allows another family member to have access to your medical information. You are able to state how much information you would like shared and the duration of time the individual has access to your medical record.
Speak Up
During a medical appointment, speak up so your needs are communicated clearly.
- Make a list ahead of the appointment that outlines all your concerns and questions.
- Make a list of any symptoms you would like addressed (changes in appetite, areas where you have pain, and any new healthcare concerns you have noticed).
- Ask a loved one to help you create these lists if it feels overwhelming or too challenging.
- Ask the medical professional to communicate to you directly instead of communicating to a loved one.
- If you need a refill on a prescription, have upcoming tests or other appointments, make sure to tell your doctor.
- Ask for a follow up care plan to be written so you know exactly what you need to do when you get home.
- This could include things like your current medications, appointment reminders, and treatment instructions.
- Ask for the contact information of the person you would contact if you have any questions after your appointment.
Communicate
Talk with loved ones about what is important to you and how you envision spending your free time.
- It is important that you express what is important to you, so your loved ones know how to best care for you.
- Communicate which individuals are really important in your life and how you would like to stay connected with them.
- This can look like sharing that you deeply value family and want to live physically close to loved ones.
- If you have friends you want to stay connected with, you can ask family members to arrange frequent visits, so you are able to stay in touch.
- Share some things you really enjoying doing and ask loved one to help you continue to make this a priority.
- If you enjoy going to the gym, playing cards with friends, going to church, or visiting the library, you could ask family members to help you still attend events/activities even as you age.
- If you love cooking or hosting family, ask a loved one to help you continue to do this in a safe way.
- Make a list of all your friends you would like to stay in touch with and share with your family.
- If you have a spouse, communicate what your life vision for your life would look like if he or she where to pass away.
- You can share with your family who you would like to take care of you and what your living arrangements would look like.
- Ask your spouse how they would like to be remembered or if they have any wishes for their care during a health emergency.
- Share how you would like communication to happen about your care.
- If decisions are being made about your care, you can ask loved ones to share them with you in the way that is most comfortable with you. This might look like asking a loved one to include you in any meetings related to your care, or writing down your choices and allowing you to pick.
Having difficult conversations about aging can be uncomfortable but planning ahead and being intentional about engaging in these topics with loved ones gives you a voice in your care. It allows you to be in the driver’s seat with your future and planning. Being your own advocate is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself because it reminds you that you matter and so do your desires. It allows you to express what is most important to you and equips loved ones to care for you really well. It allows you to think through what is most important to you so that there is space to honor your needs and wishes. Aging is hard and challenging but doesn’t have to feel like you have lost control over your choices or your life. You deserve to have a voice in your care because your voice matters.
Reference: https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/empowering-your-aging-parent-to-be-their-own-healthcare-advocate/